The Problem is the Filter

What if there’s a filter that keeps your kid from hearing the words you are actually saying?

What if that filter is so fixed in place that it catches every single word you say and changes it to something else?

What if neither you nor your kid knows the filter exists?

“These grades aren’t your best effort, you can do better,” becomes “you’re lazy and a disappointment.”

“Look at all we do for you, and I ask you to do one thing and you can’t do it,” sounds more like, “I don’t think you’re a very good person because I do more for you than what you do for me.”

Instead of hearing…

“I love you,” your kid hears, “I put up with you because I have to.”

What if you created the filter without even realizing you were doing it?

It might have been words you used when you were angry that you didn’t mean to say. It could have been a moment your child noticed when your actions didn’t align with your words.

The problem isn’t the message you’re trying to communicate. The problem isn’t your son or daughter. The problem is that the filter exists at all.

What if you could take the filter apart piece by piece, but it would take a year to completely dismantle it?

What if you started today?


About Ralph Perez

I recently had someone who I’ve known for quite some time come up to me and say, “Ralph, I had no idea you were an attorney.” That happens often. It’s because solving problems for a living as an attorney is such a small part of what I do, that it just doesn’t come up much. What I really am is a junkie. I’m an information junkie, constantly diving into new hobbies and areas until I know everything I can about a subject. I’m a people junkie. I live for connecting with new people and helping them connect with others. I’m a sports junkie. My TV is tuned to sports every single night. Doesn’t matter if it’s football, basketball, baseball, or curling, if there are sports on, chances are I’m watching. But most of all, I’m a Jesus junkie. I love to study and teach the Bible and serve others at the West Side Campus of Church Unlimited. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect. While I’ve never been addicted to drugs or alcohol, my habit has led to ruined relationships and broken hearts. There are two hearts that are most important to me and those are the hearts of my two daughters. My faith challenges me to constantly find new and creative ways to love and lead my daughters towards full life in Jesus. Just an ordinary junkie, in pursuit of His extraordinary standard. That’s who I am.

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