A letter from late singer’s ex-wife, Mary Weiland, on behalf of his two children
What if there’s a filter that keeps your kid from hearing the words you are actually saying?
What if that filter is so fixed in place that it catches every single word you say and changes it to something else?
What if neither you nor your kid knows the filter exists?
“These grades aren’t your best effort, you can do better,” becomes “you’re lazy and a disappointment.”
“Look at all we do for you, and I ask you to do one thing and you can’t do it,” sounds more like, “I don’t think you’re a very good person because I do more for you than what you do for me.”
Instead of hearing…
“I love you,” your kid hears, “I put up with you because I have to.”
What if you created the filter without even realizing you were doing it?
It might have been words you used when you were angry that you didn’t mean to say. It could have been a moment your child noticed when your actions didn’t align with your words.
The problem isn’t the message you’re trying to communicate. The problem isn’t your son or daughter. The problem is that the filter exists at all.
What if you could take the filter apart piece by piece, but it would take a year to completely dismantle it?
What if you started today?